Monday, February 15, 2010

My battle with the unknown.....

Recently I have been trying to update my blog, I know it’s been a while since I wrote something, and I know that I usually write once or twice a week, but for some reason my mind is blocked. I have no idea why, my life is a constant change, as I mentioned before nothing stays the same in my world, the year just started and so many things already happened, I don’t know why! I have to always worry about tomorrow, I always ask myself “ why can’t I live like so many other people, have a routine in my life” unfortunately this never happens to me, I was just talking to my sister in the phone few minutes ago and she was complaining of her routine and that she needed to do something new in her life, I of course encouraged her to go back to school since her kids are old enough to take care of themselves, but as I was talking to her I was thinking “how come I don’t have this security, the security of being save, and not to worry about tomorrow or the unknown”. The unknown scares me like a horror movie scares a young child, it bugs me, it keeps me up, I know I shouldn’t worry cause what is meant to be, is meant to be, but I am only human and as I mentioned before one of my faults is worrying, even though I always say to myself “ don’t worry be happy” but it is easier said than done, I also complain a lot, I think that the people that knows me very well, knows how much I complain...., is that bad?!!!! but hey, it’s part of being me I guess.
So many things is happening and will for sure happen during the course of this year, I just hope that it will not be as bad as last year, last year started with me losing a job that I enjoyed and so many things came after that, so this year I hope from the bottom of my heart that it will be good, I will keep my fingers crossed for me and for whoever needs luck, the best thing about 2009 is that my friends were there for me when I needed them the most, I am so grateful for that and I know that they will be there for me when I need them this year during my battle with the unknown or with whatever my destiny is hiding for me....