Down town Beirut

It’s 2:00 am here in Lebanon, I cannot sleep and that is of course cause I am jetlagged just arrived yesterday, the weather is beautiful here, right now I am sitting in my living room in my apartment here in Lebanon, the view that is in front me ( I know it’s dark and I can hardly see it but in the morning when I wake up it’s the first thing that I see while enjoying the best cup of coffee that anyone can have) so the view is, from the right I can see the beach and the airport and at the left side I can see the beauty of the mountains all over the place, I can see how big and small they could be, it’s amazing and beautiful, it looks like a painting only this one is real, ooo how much I love the beauty of nature, every time I come here and look at this view I am just amazed and I always say to myself “ how could I leave all this beauty” but I guess that is because it’s typical me, I like the change, and I cannot live anywhere other than Ottawa, I already miss it, but I am going to have to put it aside for now and try and enjoy every second of this beauty and this beloved country.

On Sunday I will be driving up the mountain with my sister and her kids and some of my friends, my sister has a beautiful house in the mountain, we will be spending a day or two over there and then after that I will dedicate my time to my favorite thing in this whole entire world which is the beach, I will post some pictures of the beach soon, so that everyone can see the beauty of the beach here in Lebanon. I will also practice one of my favorite exercise which is swimming and for sure walking by the beach.

This afternoon I was having lunch with some friends and of course my sister in the heart of down town Beirut, I must say the food was great, the music was loud and the views were amazing, what made our afternoon great was the weather, we were sitting outside, the breeze was gentle, it wasn’t cold and it wasn’t hot, just perfect, and because of this I was so happy and relaxed. After lunch we decided to take a walk, as we were walking down town we looked at the people and saw how happy they are, here no one cares about anything, the only thing that they care about is how to enjoy themselves, and I love that about Lebanon, cause it tend to make me forget everything and the only thing that is in my mind right now, is how to enjoy this blessing of me being here with the people that I love.

My trip...

Tomorrow is my first day of my trip, I will be gone for almost 2 months, will be going to different countries and seeing lots of new things, I am anxious but scared at the same time, I don’t know why, maybe because I am doing it alone, it was my decision to go on this trip, I need to clear my mind, so many things happened and is happening in my life right now, and I need to sort things out.

What is amazing about this trip is that it is the first for me in a year and 2 months, I am usually always on the go, I think that in some way I am blessed to have had the opportunity to explore the rest of this world, and see the different creations of god, amazing every time I go somewhere I see something that is so unique and special that makes me want to come back to that specific place. I had the chance to see so many things in my life, I think that travelling and seeing the world from different angles made me who I am today, when I was younger I always wanted to feel stable and be part of a place, but looking back at my life I came to realize that I was destined to be moving and flying all over the place, sometimes I feel that I am like a bird only with broken wings, I fly but not as fast as the others, I always fall down but with my only one wing I tend to fly back and see what I need to see and experience everything that life has to offer. I will never have a home, I will always have houses, actually, just now while writing this post I realized that I have lots of homes in so many countries that I can always go to, and now during this trip of mine, I am not staying in hotels I am staying with friends in their homes which are my homes too, see having a home doesn’t mean it could be in one specific place, home is everywhere or at least for me.

I did buy a note book and a cute pen, I will be doing lots of writing so that when I come back from my trip I will write everything that I have seen and experience maybe this will help me keep living my dream which is happiness.

London will be the beginning of my trip and Africa will be my last destination before coming back to Ottawa, just thinking about the fun that I will be having makes my heart beats so fast and hard just like when you are in love and you see your loved one after a long separation.

A chance to live ...

Here is another thought that came crossing my mind just now while sitting in my bedroom listening to my favorite radio station and so tired because today was such a busy day, the best part of the day was when I went to visit a friend of mine from my previous job at work and there I met all the other people that I use to work with or knew, it was nice, I think that I was lucky that I had the chance to meet such nice people and eventually became friends with.

Anyways, here is what my tired mind came up with, fall in love or fall in hate, get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class, make babies or make art, speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is a divine chaos, embrace it, forgive yourself, breath and enjoy the ride because whatever it is it’s worth it, we live once and we all have the chance of life so why not live it to the fullest and let it be, we always have to remember though that god is watching us and no matter what this life brings us he will be the one to protect us and give us the courage to move forward. Life is what you make out of it, so live it, for what you want it to be, because we all have the chance to control and change whatever it is we need to change and this done by having the chance of every sunset of every day, and as I always say every day is new beginning and a new chance so let’s grab every chance we have with our own hands so that we can live our lives the way we want it… remember, no matter how difficult today is, it can never rain forever, and after every storm comes a beautiful shiny day, so enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realize, they were the big things...

Change

This afternoon while I was waiting for my doctor to show up, something just clicked into my head, this rarely happens to me but maybe because of all the changes that is going on in my life right now, my inner self kinda talked to me and here is what I came up with, change! Think about it, change is everywhere, minute by minute, in all walks of life, change is constant, inevitable. The fruit of change is opportunity, and its seed will nurture you, and from change spring growth, progress and fulfillment. When you mange change, you embrace it, find the good in it, hear its promise, learn from it and the world becomes an exciting place in your desire to know what comes next. So no matter what changes are happening in our live we have to always look positively at what ever is changing in our lives, because change is part of our existence, no change, no fun, no life.

boring day turned up to be good after all :-)

Today was boring but also good I should say, didn't know what I was suppose to do which is a first for me since I always seem to have plans but for some reason I did not have any today well! I was suppose to go to Montreal with a friend of mine but the trip was cancelled, so I called another friend of mine and told her that I will be coming over to her place and will bring coffee with me, she of course agreed since we both love Starbucks coffee. Here is the fun part, as I was waiting for my turn in Starbucks drive thru, there was this lovely looking serving guy standing, I wanted to talk to him so I said, " the weather is so beautiful today, y don't you give me some sort of a discount" I was just kidding with him really, he gave me this look and said "ok" I didn't think that he was serious so I gave him my debt card but then he said, "nope it's on us" I was shocked and said to him what I usually say when I’m shocked " REALLY" and he said "yes really" of coursed I thanked him, that little thing just made my day, not only because of the free coffee, I felt that this could be a start of a good luck charm for me, since my year so far is so bad from the start..

Now here I am sitting at my friend's backyard and enjoying my free cup of coffee and thinking, I just wish that good things will always happen all the time cause trust me it's healthy and it keeps us moving forward and wanting more from this unsecure life that we are all living. I am not just saying that because of the free coffee, I am saying that because sometimes people do things to us without even realizing that what ever they did made some sort of a difference and for me in this case it gave me some boost of energy that I though that I was loosing, maybe this is a sign from god that it is going to finally to be ok, I know that it's not going to happen any time soon but maybe sooner than I expect.

My trip is coming up soon and the closer it gets the more excited I become, I cannot wait to travel and see the world and be in the places that I always long too be in, one of the places that I will visit is South Africa, I love Africa, I lived almost half of my life in Africa it’s beautiful and over there nature is just amazing and most importantly the beach, that is what always tend to take me back to south Africa. Every time I go and see the ocean and how beautiful and deep and how endless it is, it makes me but wonder what would the ending of an ocean be it’s deep and wondrous, it always keeps me speechless and standing there by the beach while the wind blows my hair I travel to a world that is only known by me and every one that enjoys the beauty and the secrets of the ocean.

What I’m trying to say is that never give up, there are always signs from god all over the place, all we have to do is open our eyes and try to find them because once we do, it happens, trust me it does. I will be missing my friends here in Ottawa since I don't know how long I will be gone, but I will always be here in my heart and in my spirit because Ottawa is my home and my friends are my family that I always come back too.


I know that what I am going to say now is so irrelevant to what I just said about the beach and all the good stuff, I love chocolate with cherries, I think that it is so yummy and it has this naughty taste that makes you want to eat more and more of it, few days ago I went to Bulk Barn and I got this delicious chocolate cheery balls and ooo god there’re so yummy, I am actually having some while writing this post :-) yum yum yum...