No Matter What!!

I have lots to say, yet I have no idea what, but I know deep inside there is so many things that I want to talk about, but what exactly?? I feel like I’m going to explode, out of anger maybe!! my heart hurts like crazy, I feel empty and lonely and sad, I have lots of friends but I don’t know any, I still did not find the person that I can share everything and anything with, I’m always scared to trust anyone, and that kills me, the only person that I trust is me, and that’s not good and not fair to me and to the people that loves me, it’s just that I can’t say my deepest feelings to anyone, maybe because I think that they won’t understand what I’m trying to say, or maybe because I cannot express my feelings right to anyone. I’m not a good talker, I like to keep everything inside of me, and that’s why I love walking for long hours, it always seems to make feel better, swimming to is also my way of releasing stress. Since I will not be working next month I’m thinking of taking a long trip to the Caribbean to be close to the sea and the beauty of nature, I love travelling, I usually travel to run away from my problems, I know it’s bad, but that’s the only way where I can be fresh and ready again to face whatever I need to face. I remember 2 years ago I went to south Africa and walking by the beach first thing in the morning made me realize that I need to do something for my life something that will make me a better person and that’s why I came back to Ottawa to give a meaning to my life, instead of keep on running from my problems I had to face them and that’s the best thing that anyone can do, I know it’s hard but there is nothing that is easy in this life. Right now I am going through a challenging time, I know I’ll be ok, but first I need to go away to be ok, cause sometimes being away from what made you sad is the best thing, because it will help you think better and forget and maybe forgive.